About Grief…

sadGrief… Somebody from the close family has died. Most couples would avoid sexual contact for many days or even months after the tragedy has happened. They would let sad emotions dominate over their life and over their love. “How is it possible to have sex, when the grief is there?” – a lot of people would think, “It is not the right moment for sex!”

Sexual contact is mainly considered as an expression of happiness, energy, love in its best “sunny moments”. Sex is mostly presented as fun, excitement, play, joy. Orgasms are considered as a result of such pleasant timing, pleasant stimulations of body parts and sensors creating arousal. But, pity that people hardly ever discover during their life the healing and therapeutic power of human sexuality. At the time of grief the couple can become the best therapist for each other using sexual energy as a fire that heats the “body water” and evaporates the sadness. Sensual and sexual contact between a man and a woman when both are in emotional pain is like a counselor who speaks a different language, subconscious language, loving and comforting physical language. Reflexes of our body influence our emotions. We give cuddles to our children when they are sad or unhappy. We can give special sexual “cuddles” to each other when we are sad. When we start to change our moods on the physical level we bring changes to out psychology. If the couple know how to relax each other and then how to start having sensual and sexual contact, bringing into it a means of supporting each other, sharing grief together, empowering each other’s energy for life (life has to continue despite our grief!), the couple can open a huge source of relief at this difficult time for both of them. Their sexuality would become the healer which can be more potent then that of a psychiatrist or counselor operating on a logical level which mostly refers to the brain. Emotions are in the heart. The brain can do nothing about them. Sexual energy which rises from the body but flows through the heart (if people learn Tantric sexuality) creates a stream which can clean away “heavy” emotions and replace them with positive, optimistic ones. The event of the tragedy cannot be changer. But, the attitude to the tragedy can be changed. Healing sexuality can change the attitude to the tragedy, can bring acceptance and open the way out of sadness.

If sadness takes place over too long a time and closes the door to each other’s world of physical love it could be difficult to restore sexual connection again. It could even change the relationship of the couple forever. Do not stop touching each other in a sensual and sexual way in the time of grief, do not let your grief cause you to both grow apart, do share your love and your grief in Tantric lovemaking.

Women want ‘a ready man’ who already knows…

OSad-Couplene of readers of my blog has send me a message: ‘Indeed… Women are flowers of life.. Thank you for the insights. What do you think of women who say they want ‘a ready man’ who already knows how to please them?’

What do I think of women like that? I think that they will never be happy, they will never find a man who already knows how to give them pleasure because the female body and psycho in particular is not the same as it was before even yesterday. A male body is easier to get what we call ‘orgasm’, though ‘orgasm’ does not mean sexual happiness. Female sexual happiness does not depend on orgasm at all.

So, a man can be easily confused and lost in his trying to please his woman, unless she initiates the things she wants to feel. Every woman needs to be open about how she feels. She needs to learn to recognise her needs clearly and to communicate them to her man. Using her own body she needs to create for herself the right mood, tempo, touch. Via creating an example which her man can follow she can educate him in giving her pleasure. Only following her body language a man can understand her body and do what she wants him to do.

This body language is not given to us, humans, by birth. This language is called the art of sensuality and love-making. Any woman is much better in speaking this language because the nature of her body is more sensual by definition. She needs to open this language in herself, master it into a great art of loving her man and lead her man into this world. A man always is physically clumsier, he always is less sensual by the fact that his skin has 60 times less nerve endings than female skin.

So, only a woman can be a director of this art. It does not mean that a man cannot be initiative and creative in such art. He can! Very much so! But he needs to learn in from his woman first. HIS PARTICULAR WOMAN! The another woman has different sensitivity.

So there are NO ‘ready men’ for sexual happiness of a woman. A woman always has to make a man-lover for herself.

4 GROUPS OF LOVE-MAKING ELEMENTS

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Most men and women believe that in order to be considered as a good lovers they need only to know how to bring their partners to orgasm. That simple orientations brings many couples to the point when they feel worry about their ability and energy capacity to achieve orgasm themselves or to bring their partners to orgasm. Couples feel lack or desire to have sex, low energy, they develop the sense of disconnection with each other and so on… all negative feelings. Tips and tricks from Internet offering tools for getting arousal would not work for long.

TO BECOME A MASTER-LOVER YOU NEED TO DEVELOP THE FOLLOWING 4 GROUPS OF LOVE-MAKING ELEMENTS:

 

TOUCHES

Touches are kissing, holding, stroking, contact via different parts of the body. Most of men and women do not pay attention to all these touches and so do not know how to create the sense of love, connection and sexual desire via touch. There are many touches for you to learn as this skill does not comes naturally. Learning them you can make your love life much more colourful. 

MASSAGES

Massages are special techniques applied to different parts of the body to create the right intensity of energy and the sense of care between partners. Massages are a very important part of lovemaking. Yet, most men and women do not do massages rightly. Learn different sensual and erotic massages. They are a special expression of your love, as well as a beautiful energy work. 

MOVEMENTS

The way partners move their bodies during lovemaking makes a huge impact on the level of energy of arousal and can dramatically effect the sense of love, connection and sexual desire: empower it or kill it. Instinct always drives us to move fast and rough. Instinct is a killer of feelings and sensations. Moving slowly and gently is like walking a magical road, the road of love. 

INTERCOURSE

Intercourse is a very complicated process if you want to create the sense of love and connection as well as gaining the energy instead of loosing it at the end. It has a lot of elements which most men and women do not consider as they know nothing about them. Become educated and trained in all these elements and you transform intercourse into happiest experience always for both. 

COMBINING THESE ELEMENTS, USING THEM IN DIFFERENT DAYS ACCORDING TO THE STATE OF THE MIND AND BODY PHYSICAL ENERGY EVERY COUPLE CAN HAVE HEALTHY AND HAPPY SEXUAL LIFE.

Couples in crisis

Couples came to me in almost a crisis and after the first session they see that their problems were misleading information about sex and intimacy received from outside world.

Every couples problem is totally unique. Yes, the information most people get about sex from the very early age is very misleading and makes them be totally incommunicable with their partner about how they feel because of fear of hurting the partner’s feelings. I help the couple to understand that their bodies are sensitive and needs to be explored and treated accordingly to its sensitivity. There should be no such things between two people how love each other as body performance. Each body has different energy at different moment of life and this energy just has to be considered. If a man has no erection it does not mean that he is not attracted to a woman. If a woman hasn’t achieved orgasm it does not mean that she is sexually unhappy or unsatisfied. And the opposite: presence of a good erection does not mean that a man loves a woman and cares of her, and the reaching an orgasm does not mean that a person really expressed love or received love. Men and women need to become more intelligent in sex and every time decide what they want to do in sex according to their emotional and physical states. And these states fluctuate every day. Every couple needs to learn to recognize each other’s needs for this particular day. Also all needs need to be adjusted to the lower level. What this means is the partner who is more energetic and emotionally uplifted should be more gentle and soft towards the partner, who is more tired or less emotionally balanced. In my teaching every couple receives a totally different approach to their problem, but the main direction is the same, giving partners tools for such body-to-body communication which brings them both to comfortable and happy state as a result of sexual practice. Making love is a very powerful way to get over any crisis in couple’s life. We can health mind via body and vice versa.

How sexual problems rise

 

Very often people hesitate to come and to see me in fear of what they might find about themselves or about each other of they are couples as most people never talk to anyone about how they feel in sex. Most people do not understand that sex cannot be viewed as a psychological problem. This is what all psychiatrist state. All sexual problems are rooted in physical body. None of people have sexual problems. Nobody needs to be fixed. There is nothing wrong with any man or any woman. It is all about physical body sensitivity. This sensitivity need to be respected, cared of and explored in order to create in physical body the sense of pleasure, which starts from creating the sense of comfort. What most men and women are trying to do is to become an owner of some another physical body, not the body they have now and here at this particular moment. They want the body which is aroused, or which is providing a certain sensation to their brains… So, they do not accept and enjoy what they have, they want from themselves to feel something else, as well as they force the partner to feel something else. But, nobody can force feelings. Nobody can feel pleasure when there are a lot of worries and demands from yourself or from the other person. Yet, most people create these demands every time they want to be physically close with each other. This is how sexual problems rise.

How to keep your man forever?

According to research, a woman’s sex drive begins to dramatically reduce once she is in a secure relationship.

Researchers from Germany found that after four years of stable relationship less than half of 30-year-old women wanted regular sex. The also found that men have the same sex drive regardless of the length of their relationship. Do men want to have sex with the same sexual partner or they just want to have sex, German researchers did not clarify. Yet, they clarify that women do not want to have sex even if they love their partners.

The researchers from Hamburg-Eppendorf University Hospital interviewed 530 men and women about their relationships.

They found that 60% of of 30-year-old women who have been in relationship for less than 4 years wanted sex “often”. Less than 50% of women who have been in the relationship about 4 years wanted sex 2-3 times a week. And only 20% of women wanted sex more or less regularly who stayed in relationship for about 20 years.

In contrast, men of all age groups wanted regular sex.

The answer on the question: “Why so many men have an affairs or go to prostitutes, escorts or massages where ofter they can have sex behind of the name of “massage”?” Is clear. German scientists explain the difference in male and female sex drive by biological programming for the sake of human reproduction and evolution.

How to keep a man?

Sexual desire is a very powerful energy which drives a man where he can satisfy this desire. Sexual energy is vital for a man and vital for a woman but women do not feel it so clear as men do. A lot of 50 years old men divorce and get younger wife.

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To keep a man every women has to learn how to develop her sexual life into constant regular loving connection to her man. If he does not feel loved sexually nothing can stop him to leave you!

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“The tantric lo…

“The tantric love act can be done as much as you like. The ordinary sex act cannot be done as much as you like because you are loosing energy in it, and your body will need to wait to regain it. And when you regain it, you will only lose it again. This looks absurd. The whole life is spent in gaining and losing, regaining and losing: it is just like an obsession.”
Osho “The Book of Secrets”

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