How sexual problems rise

 

Very often people hesitate to come and to see me in fear of what they might find about themselves or about each other of they are couples as most people never talk to anyone about how they feel in sex. Most people do not understand that sex cannot be viewed as a psychological problem. This is what all psychiatrist state. All sexual problems are rooted in physical body. None of people have sexual problems. Nobody needs to be fixed. There is nothing wrong with any man or any woman. It is all about physical body sensitivity. This sensitivity need to be respected, cared of and explored in order to create in physical body the sense of pleasure, which starts from creating the sense of comfort. What most men and women are trying to do is to become an owner of some another physical body, not the body they have now and here at this particular moment. They want the body which is aroused, or which is providing a certain sensation to their brains… So, they do not accept and enjoy what they have, they want from themselves to feel something else, as well as they force the partner to feel something else. But, nobody can force feelings. Nobody can feel pleasure when there are a lot of worries and demands from yourself or from the other person. Yet, most people create these demands every time they want to be physically close with each other. This is how sexual problems rise.

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A Question from YOU: Can I talk dirty while having sexual intercourse to ejaculate inside her?

There is difference between sex for love and sex for physiological release. In first case you are having sex to make your partner feel loved and appreciated, in second you are just using your partner’s body to release hormonal tension in your own body and maybe in hers too, but it has nothing to do with love and appreciation of each other. These days many men and women have sex for just this simple reflex of orgasm, just for getting high, like it would be by using drugs and then for getting release from the tension which they both have built up in their bodies. Yet, often a man or a woman does not have enough physical hormonal energy to build up the tension to orgasm easily, with no effort. So, they both or one of them start using tools which stimulate the brain to create the high tension in genitals. These tools could be dirty words, images from porn, fantasies and so on. These tools always come together with hard rubbing of genitals, in some way even aggressive rubbing. In this case for a man the act of driving himself to orgasm is nothing but just in some way an abuse to a female body, even if she gets the same high arousal and orgasm from that. This type of sexual behavior is possible only between two people who met just for that sense of “druggy” state and release. It often happens even in a strong loving relationship.

 

There is another way of using your body and sexual energy and this road is to express love and appreciation to your partner as well as getting the same attitude from your partner to yourself.

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Most men have an instinctive fear that their arousal will drop down if they start to be more attentive, relaxed, gentle and loving towards their women. Yes, maybe you will not be so much aroused, and will not ejaculate from this loving and sensual sexual behavior. And this is fine, as your body does not always have enough energy for high arousal. You should not force your body energy to this high level, otherwise eventually you can experience exhaustion and luck of interest in sex and in your regular partner. If you have just casual sex, like “one night stand”, it is still much better to let your body decide if it has enough energy for ejaculation. You have to be careful with loosing your sperm often. Sex which has no aim of ejaculation is much richer and fulfilling. It is much better to spend time even with the stranger, a woman you see just for this one moment, with the aim to make her feel loved and appreciated, it is much better to express your own beautiful loving nature. So, it is better to say nice words, like: “I love to touch you”, “You have a wonderful body”, “ You are beautiful”, “I love your smell”, “I feel so happy”, “I feel waves of wonderful energy from you” and so on.

Concentrate on pleasant sensations which your body experiences from touching her body, from being inside her, relax your mind, do not expect anything, just melt into her body, her smell, her warmth, feel all her movements, syncronise with them, follow them, and you will see that your energy will fill you up and create orgasm, with or without ejaculation. This loving and appreciative behavior, this time spent in beauty and care for each other, will always stay in your memory as an act of human kindness and sexual connection with another human being.

Angel or Slut?

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“Men want to marry an angel but in bed they want a slut”

This idea comes from a very limited understanding of sex and from the idea that the woman should seduce the man to arouse his sexual energy. Deep down in every man there is a strong fear of not being aroused, so men are always looking for something that will stimulate arousal instantly without effort. This means that the most important thing is some kind of seductive element, like in pornography or when women use sexy seductive underwear or express seductive behaviour. This will immediately stimulate arousal. But of course in many respects a man would not be happy with a wife or girlfriend who would exhibit this type of behaviour as this would mean she could seduce other men as well.

And as long as the man doesn’t know of other ways to experience love and being aroused – if he doesn’t know what it means to be aroused by an angel, by angelic behaviour! – he doesn’t know these other possibilities. The angelic behaviour shows no element of seduction but true adoration of the man. The woman touches the man with an angelic face, with a smile, with care, with a lot of love, like a mother touching her baby. Most men never experience this type of arousal.

The belief that the woman should be this angel in all other respects but when it comes to sex and moving into the bedroom she needs to become a horny, seductive slut is not true in my experience. For 20 years I have worked with men and all this time I have presented myself as an angel. I would never have been able to love myself if I had played the games of seduction. I always wanted to create in the man’s heart great respect, love and care towards my body.

When a man gets triggered by seduction, when he gets aroused by seductive behaviour, he can become quite brutal towards the woman and behave in an unrespectful way, even causing the woman pain. In my work I always wanted to protect my body from this attitude in men and the only way to do it is to be an angel! To bring the man to this angelic world where he will be aroused from soft, gentle touch. Where he will experience his body as a sensual, loving and loved body. Then he will treat the female body in the same way.

In a relationship it is possible all through life to be in love with each other, to be sexually active and enjoy the sexual life only if you are both angels. If you start to play seductive games it will never last. It will always lead you to disrespect and abuse of each others emotions, bodies and energies and will eventually destroy your love and relationship.

About Sex

Explore Sexual Energy. It is not just a “pleasure”.
Sexual Energy is a powerful source of physical and emotional wellbeing.
Practice Caring Sex. It is not just another way of having sex.

Caring Sex is the only way to make your partner feel loved.
Create More Love. It is not just your personal choice.

Creating More Love is everyone’s contribution to global abundance.  

“The Unimacy Bible” is on Amazon. Get it!

My e-book “The Unimacy Bible” is published on Amazon. Unimacy_01

Most sexual relationships have a big chance of dying over the time. Couples struggle to keep their sexual relationship alive because of their mainstream beliefs about sexual pleasure and expectations. The book “The Unimacy Bible” presents a new way of loving. It is a lifestyle guide to resolving problems in sexual relationship for people of all ages. It is a framework for expanding feelings of love through physical and emotional practice, it is a new paradigm of intimate relationship.

Get the book here:

From my client

Hey Lara,

I slept with a girl that I had met from an online dating site. I didn’t plan to sleep with her but it just happened as we got on really well. 
 
The best part was that I had quality passionate oral sex with her, pretty much all night without cumming at all. I was very much surprised and pleased. The breathing exercises and PC muscle exercises definitely worked and I really want to thank you for guiding me on this 🙂 Plus the sensual touches, the way you taught me, was like a deep and quality love making experience with her. 
 
Thank you once again and hopefully I will see you around at some point in the future. K.” .
 

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