Sexuality is viewed by a lot of people as well as medical, professional and spiritual teachers as something purely personal, related to self-pleasuring.
Sexual happiness comes from within as everything else in a person’s life comes from within. Yet, it does not mean self-pleasuring.
In a sexual act with someone else, you are not the only person involved. There are two people here – your partner and you. Note, I have said: ‘your partner and you’ but not ‘you and your partner’. When talking about happiness from within, I meant loving and giving this body of yours as a gift to your partner. Your pleasure of making your partner happy creates sexual happiness within you. Not reaching orgasm, not gaining you own sexual release, not feeling aroused. Your joy comes from touching and loving your partner’s body for the sake of your partner’s comfort and happiness. Your joy and pleasure comes from receiving your partner’s physical love, touch, kisses, hugs and reciprocating.
The main focus of your sexual life is your partner.
Do not worry that you may be left with no pleasure if you give all your attention to your partner. If your focus is your partner, then your partner’s focus is you. It does not make sense to be together if it is not like that, does it! A happy sex life and a happy relationship is not possible if each partner is focused on themselves.