Why do people say that love is so hard?
Is it because you want to be with someone who does not want to be with you? Or is it because you stop wanting to be with someone who wants to be with you? Or is it because you want your partner to be different and he or she cannot? Or, because you get angry and frustrated with your partner but still want to be with him/her? You are suffering! From what? Think about what you call love? You want to feel this amazing feeling of having someone in your life who makes you happy, isn’t it? And also you want the guaranty of this feeling. To be always there, in your mind and body! He/she does not create this feeling in you any more or he/she leaves you and your feelings of love replaced with torturous feelings of jealousy, bitterness, pain, regret… Now you cannot lie on Sunday morning in bed and get sexually wild. And nothing in the whole universe can replace that. Nothing!
Yet… in a day or two … maybe a month or two… again… the same circle: love, wildness, disappointment, pain…
How to change that circle? On which stage? Are there any tools to have love and wildness but not disappointment and pain?
Yes. There are tools for changing the bad circle, but for that you have to use only one tool – love. The other 3 stages of this circle are not good for happy relationships. It is clear that disappointment and pain are not good for a happy relationship. But what is wrong with wildness?
This is it! Wildness is the engine to the next 2 stages. Why? You want the high adrenaline feeling and you want your partner to provide this feeling for you. You do not love him/her. You just want him/her to be responsible for your feeling of well-being and happiness. You are needy. Everyone who is needy is using others. Love is a completely different thing. Love is clear and calm like nice weather for flowers. Love is care and attention, but not to yourself for your own needs but for your partner’s. This will make him/her replicate towards you a wonderful sense that he/she needs you in his/her life.