“Great sex” versus romantic touch

Sexuality which is given to us naturally lacks imagination and physical skill. Imagination of most people is based on the simple instinctive desire to get aroused higher and higher to ultimately climax. Sexual tips and techniques help men and women to obtain physical skills for arousing the body, but they do not work for creating the sense of attachment required to maintain good love-making in longer term.

This is why I have had in my practice a lot of men and women who came to me broken-hearted. Their partners have often left them for another lover. My clients said to me that sex with their ex-partners was great, however.

This makes you wonder, then what is “great sex”? In the opinion of most people, great sex is active stimulation for arousal, passionate movements of bodies, then orgasm… I doubt that if you say “great sex” you mean slow gentle stroking, long kisses on forehead or neck…

Romantic touch is different and too often hardly known amongst many men and women. Romantic touch creates romantic feelings. It is the touch which is reflected not in the part of our brain where we want more arousal and orgasm, but in another part of our brain where we want to say: “I am so happy that I have you in my life! I love you so much! You are so wonderful!”

We all miss romance when it is not in our life. Romance stays an illusion until we learn the touch which creates the real feeling of romantic love. Romance is a dream about that special touch and the reality of experiencing that touch.

Usually romantic reality does not last long and too often turns back into mere romantic dream. This is because romantic touch is the touch which needs to be supported by a strong feeling of adoration and care. When people know each other for a long time, this feeling of adoration fades. However, consciously increasing it can make romantic reality last.


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