Many people do not understand the meaning of sex as an attachment and care. Today a lot of men and women fear sexual relationships the same way as people fear public speaking. They see sex as ‘performance’ and as a responsibility to impress. Men and women worry that they cannot meet their partner’s expectations in sex, whatever sex is. However, not many think about sex as love, care, acceptance and gentleness.
Men fear sexual relationships because they perceive their sexual desire and physiological functioning as very difficult to manage. Women fear sex because they feel that they are not ‘sexy’ enough and also they often feel physical discomfort in vagina and emotional vulnerability.
In general people’s attitude to sex is about ‘consuming’.
What do we mostly hear among men and women?
1 “This girl is gorgeous! I would like to spend a night with her!
2 “My boyfriend is so passionate! He gives me a wonderful orgasm!”
We do not hear so often:
3 “I am very gentle with my girlfriend’s body. I listen to every her breath and ask if she is comfortable with everything I do to her body.”
4 ”My boyfriend is working hard. When he comes home I want him to relax and to rest. I give him slow and gentle massage, kiss him all over and make love to him slowly and gently. I want him to feel loved by me.”
Do you believe that your partner has thoughts 3 and 4? Do you often have similar thoughts yourself?